One of the things I love about blogging is that I can just put stuff out there. Hardly anyone reads it, but it's kind of fun to write it anyway. Especially when I really should be doing something else. Like writing for money.
I've also been geeking out more than usual. Part of the blame for that rests with the awesome Christmas presents I received. During what was, without a doubt, the nerdiest Christmas I've ever experienced, I received a lovely glass and (real!) gold dragon, Star Trek Catan, a variety of items reflecting my love of Batman, and a pleather Darth Vader.
I was sick on Christmas Day (hooray for the flu), so all the nerdiness provided a pick-me-up. Nothing boosts my mood like a little serious nerdiness — just ask anyone unfortunate enough to ask me about The Hobbit.
But, even with the improved mood, the New Year hasn't done much to excite me. Instead of thinking of a number of resolutions, I'm wondering what the hell I'm going to do with myself this year. Will we move? I don't know. What will I do about my “career”? I don't know. I know I'm unmotivated and I'm having a hard time getting moving. That could be just the time of year; there's a letdown of sorts after the holiday fun fades away and winter closes in.
All I know is that this is a shiny New Year, and it already feels dull to me. Perhaps I need an attitude adjustment. Whatever.
A Memory of Light: Saying Goodbye to Fictional Friends
The New Year has brought about an ending, though. I've had to say goodbye to some fictional friends that have been my companions for almost 20 years. In 1990, Robert Jordan kicked off his Wheel of Time series, and I started reading in high school. I was there through the author's death (having Brandon Sanderson work on the final books of the series let me in on his awesome work).
The series finally ended, and that has me thinking more about life, and the things we make important, than any work of fiction should. “It's like saying goodbye to good friends,” someone told me after church today, when we discussed the books. I agree with him. Especially since (spoiler alert if you read the books and know me at all) my favorite character dies. She goes down in a spectacular blaze of glory, but she dies nonetheless.
I've quoted pithy sayings from the books, thought about the events, and even, Light help me, felt that the fictional characters were more real than some of the actual people I know. This sort of thing happens when you invest so much into something. And I've invested a lot of time and energy into the 14 Wheel of Time books.
At any rate, the big takeaway from the books is choice. We have to be able to choose what comes next in order to make life meaningful. Our choices end up defining us. Even though we sometimes choose wrong, we can still be redeemed. So I guess that means I do need to adjust my attitude.
And decide who I want to be in 2013.